Of late, the thought of purchasing new car has been much discussed. Even the parents are so supportive (not financially though, haha) of it.
"Why? I thought it's still new?" "Because this car has been giving us problems. The same car has been problem-free for others, but not us." "You meant bo-ngam??"
That was how the conversation went during a recent catch up over dinner with a non-Chinese good friend of us. Surprisingly, that *bo-ngam* word actually came from him!
At first I was still trying hard to explain to him on Chinese belief. The so called compatibility between an object and yourself. Different people might have different experiences of using even the same model of product. It is applicable to anything e.g. car, kitchen utensils, handphone, gadgets, electrical appliances, etc.
Well, perhaps this is actually an universal belief that it's time to change if something keeps giving you problems. Everybody can become good analyst and well verse at all sort of rationalizations to justify the need to change. It is so straight forward that decision can be made easily putting aside financial constraint.
However, it's a whole lot different approach when it comes to relationship.
Relationship has not been working well?
Keep giving problems since day one?
Compatibility being major issue?
Unable to fix it after so long and still holding on to each other?
No doubt we've seen a lot of cases like this.
But how come people can endure all such imperfections/incompatibility in a relationship but not an object?
It puzzled me.
Does that mean stubbornness to continue an unhappy relationship?
Or it's the so called true love?
Could that imply avoidance towards problems?
Isn't selfish not to deal with it but to remain status quo?
Can't we evaluate relationship the simple way based on the principle-of-universal-belief?
Apparently not.
Relationship is not 1+1=2.
Human being complicates it.
No matter how disagreeable am I toward such rule-of-game, I must acknowledge that there are things money can't buy. We can't change relationship like how we change car.
But I do believe, we can change the approach to tackle problems :)
愿天下有情人终成眷属!
"Why? I thought it's still new?" "Because this car has been giving us problems. The same car has been problem-free for others, but not us." "You meant bo-ngam??"
That was how the conversation went during a recent catch up over dinner with a non-Chinese good friend of us. Surprisingly, that *bo-ngam* word actually came from him!
At first I was still trying hard to explain to him on Chinese belief. The so called compatibility between an object and yourself. Different people might have different experiences of using even the same model of product. It is applicable to anything e.g. car, kitchen utensils, handphone, gadgets, electrical appliances, etc.
Well, perhaps this is actually an universal belief that it's time to change if something keeps giving you problems. Everybody can become good analyst and well verse at all sort of rationalizations to justify the need to change. It is so straight forward that decision can be made easily putting aside financial constraint.
However, it's a whole lot different approach when it comes to relationship.
Relationship has not been working well?
Keep giving problems since day one?
Compatibility being major issue?
Unable to fix it after so long and still holding on to each other?
No doubt we've seen a lot of cases like this.
But how come people can endure all such imperfections/incompatibility in a relationship but not an object?
It puzzled me.
Does that mean stubbornness to continue an unhappy relationship?
Or it's the so called true love?
Could that imply avoidance towards problems?
Isn't selfish not to deal with it but to remain status quo?
Can't we evaluate relationship the simple way based on the principle-of-universal-belief?
Apparently not.
Relationship is not 1+1=2.
Human being complicates it.
No matter how disagreeable am I toward such rule-of-game, I must acknowledge that there are things money can't buy. We can't change relationship like how we change car.
But I do believe, we can change the approach to tackle problems :)
愿天下有情人终成眷属!
No comments:
Post a Comment